On June 3, a single event caused the news community to sit up and take notice. Paris Hilton was in jail to begin her sentence for driving with a suspended license. Conditions within our prisons and jails, or at least one of them, were big news.

On the first visiting day, her family was quickly ushered to the front of the line and through security. According to People magazine, mother Kathy said that Nicky was greatly affected by seeing her sister in jail. "Nicky tried to keep a brave face but - I've never seen Nicky cry."

Nicky said, "It's sad. It's like right out of the movies."

The unfortunate reality is that millions of people do not have to go to the movies to see the inside of a jail or prison. At the end of 2005, almost 2.2 million people in this country were in prison, which is 1 in every 136 U.S. residents. In Dane County more than 1,600 children right now have a parent behind bars. It is these children and their families who often fall through the cracks in the system.

Grandmothers are very often the caretakers because both parents are not there. They fight hard to raise the children right, to avoid the mistakes and pathways that the incarcerated parent has taken. The rules are tough but they are tempered with a great deal of love as well. Many find life hard living in a state of poverty.

In other cases families are split apart. Children are not only separated from their parent but from each other as well. Some caretakers may try to ensure the children connect with family members, but other caretakers are not so able or caring, and the children may lose all sense of family over a period of time.

At each different age of the child, reactions differ. Younger children cry for their mothers, not understanding why they are apart. The very young may eventually forget who their real mother is, a thought that tears at the heart of the incarcerated mother. As children age into the middle/teenage years, it is easy for resentment to build in them. They wonder why their mother is not there for them. Is it their fault?

A child with an incarcerated parent is vulnerable to poor academic performance, dropping out of school, gang involvement, early pregnancy, drug abuse, and delinquency. Those who have regular visits with their parent are far less likely to engage in any of these behaviors because they know that their parent is safe and still loves them. They have a chance to talk with their parent and learn from their mistakes. Ongoing contact makes a significant difference.

Likewise, an incarcerated parent who has regular visits with a child is six times less likely to re-enter prison than those who have none. By sustaining this relationship throughout the incarceration, it is there and waiting when the parent is released, making it more likely that the family can work together in forming a positive relationship of mutual support and trust going forward.

Volunteer organizations, such as Family Connections of WI Inc., exist to help. We are an organization that takes children to Taycheedah and Burke (two women's institutions) every month for visits. We also operate a Reading Connections program out of Taycheedah, with Burke following soon, for mothers whose children do not come regularly or at all. They choose a book for each child; we tape-record them reading it along with a personal message, and we send the book and recording to their child. They can also include a letter.

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Many more institutions, including men's, are still waiting for our services. It takes additional funding and volunteers to sustain these programs and our needed expansion.

The formerly incarcerated deserve a second chance. Many will be reuniting with their families again. They will be coming back to live and work in our communities. In reality is it not more important to know about these people entering our own community rather than Paris Hilton? Please consider becoming a mentor, perhaps even a friend.