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When your death is on the agendaBy Kay Plantes
Eugene O'Kelly, re-cently deceased CEO of KPMG, a $4 billion Big Four accounting firm, did just that. He died at age 53 from inoperable brain cancer, 100 days after the diagnosis. "Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed my Life" is O'Kelly's memoir of preparing to die. Gene and I were college classmates at Penn State. He was smart, future-oriented and charismatic, in an engaging Irish way. I wasn't the least bit surprised that he rose to the top of the business world. With characteristic optimism, faith and goal-directedness, Gene decided that knowing that the end was coming allowed him to approach death purposefully. His overarching goal became making the remaining time the best of his life, and as good as possible for those he loved. In his words, "I was blessed. I was told I had three months to live." Gene's story tells of changing from a CEO with a ceaseless future orientation to a man struggling to live in the present. He names this a journey of the soul, "a journey that allowed me to experience what was there all along but had been hidden," thanks to his non-stop, scheduled life. Gene leaves a CEO job where planning for the future and reflections on the past crowded out any chance to experience the present, where spontaneity resides. Meditation teaches him how to focus on the present, a focus that provides endless gifts, gifts he refers to as "perfect moments." He recognizes that highly improbable outcomes happen a lot, like a table becoming available at an always-overbooked New York Central Park caf� exactly when he decides to extend an afternoon walk. He faces a frustrating situation - a broken radiation machine - with patience rather than anger and then, with a calm mind, remembers a loving poem his daughter wrote. He experiences genuinely loving in-the-moment exchanges. Being in the present reshapes Gene's notion of commitment, which had been a driving force in his life, with time its bellwether. He grows to understand that commitment is really about depth, effort and passion. Commitment was no longer the time one was willing to give up. It became "wanting to be in a certain place," not elsewhere. It's "the energy one wants to put in, by how present one is." Mentally focusing on the present offers business, not just personal, rewards. It opens your mind to your most creative thinking and provides full access to your intuition. People speak their full truth. Gene realizes he could have accomplished as much, maybe more, as a CEO had he pursued creative solutions to the ruthless demands of his job. Instead, he regrets how little time he had for his family and failing to model the balanced life he wanted his coworkers to live. Strategic thinkers know that better decisions emerge from asking a higher-level question than the one you're grappling with. Gene captures this principle in challenging his readers to "move it up," that is to contemplate death much earlier than planned. Then, while planning for your future, you'll be more fully present in your today. Gene's book is a haunting read. He reminds me that I am marching toward death. How near or far I am from the end is unknown. What do I want to give and experience in the present before I arrive at my last 100 days? plantes@execpc.com madison.com ©2009 Capital Newspapers. All rights reserved. |
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