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How to handle a devilish bossAmanda Kramer
A. In the movie "The Devil Wears Prada," Meryl Streep plays Miranda Priestly, the ruthless, impossible-to-handle boss that many people dread. If you've got a manager at work that's your real-life Miranda, watch out. "It appears she's an absolute dictator," said business consultant Laura V. Page. "If (your situation) is like the movie, then just cover your butt and put your shell on." In reality, though, Page said many of us at one time or another have to deal with a "devilish" or unruly boss and there are definitely ways to get control of the situation - before heading off to the human resources department. "No matter what topic I'm teaching, people will ask 'what do I do with a mean boss?' " Page said. "Politics do exist. First, I usually tell folks that before you engage in communication, do a fear analysis where you look at what your imaginary fears are and what has really happened. Get a look at what's actually going on because fear is a big factor and the minute the power difference is huge, fear is even bigger." Page said if employees are noticing their manager is "devilish" or has overstepped conduct boundaries then it's OK to call the manager on the rug. It's appropriate to use the "pinch approach," Page said, where the employee can immediately fight back, calmly, the moment a situation arises. "Deal with it immediately because it just gets worse," she said. "Don't wait for it to happen a hundred times because then you're into tacit approval." Page also advised that the employee set up a one-on-one meeting with the boss to talk about his or her behavior. "Get them in a private situation," Page said. Use a sentence like "When you said (X) in that meeting, I felt (X) and this is important to me because (X)." Then listen to the response. "You have to have the tone of helping them, not hurting them and you have to get control of your own emotions (before speaking to them)," Page said. "You may have to be willing to repeat the situation as many times as it takes." If employees do decide to work with human resources on the issues, Sharon Harkins, senior vice president and general manager of Lee Hecht Harrison, said there are a few keys for an HR manager to remember. Harkins, whose leadership consulting and career management firm has been around for more than 30 years, said if the human resources manager is getting more and more complaints from employees about a particular boss, then the manager needs to remain neutral and gather information. "Sit with that employee and say, 'Give me a little information. Why are you frustrated? How do you think this could be resolved?' " Harkins said. The human resources manager will want the employee to begin thinking about the issues with the boss from a different perspective, and then the manager should listen to that employee. "Sometimes it's just a realization that there are other things going on and the boss may be under pressure," she said. Harkins said it's also important for human resources managers to go straight to the boss and explain what they are hearing from employees. Get the boss' perspective on it, she said, because there are always two sides to any issue. Human resources managers may need to help the employee better understand the boss' style of management, or the manager may need to reprimand the boss, particularly if the boss is reacting without thinking or failing to listen to employees. "In human resources, our role is to help the manager realize there's a difference between managing a task and coaching employees," Harkins said. "You don't necessarily use the same skills when you're doing those things." kramer.news@gmail.com madison.com ©2009 Capital Newspapers. All rights reserved. |
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