Networking important, but you have to do it the right way
By Peter Gray
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Network, network, network. Sometimes I feel like a broken record, endlessly repeating the same job-search and career development advice: network, network, network.
We all know it well enough, but few of us do it well enough. What are the best practices of networking?
Since my brain is trained to follow the rule of three ("the principle that things are inherently more effective coming in threes," to paraphrase Wikipedia), here are my three golden rules of networking:
1. Give before you take.
2. Call warm, not cold.
3. Ask small, not big.
Give before you take.
Goodwill is like a bank account. To make withdrawals, you need to make deposits. And you're better off making the deposits first, lest you get overdrawn and your credit goes bad. That's why my first rule of networking is to give before you take. Want to get the help you need through networking? Earn a reputation first as someone who helps others. Find ways to become visible and helpful in your social and professional communities: volunteer for a cause you care about. Join your professional association and get involved in its activities. Get active in your school's alumni group. And when someone contacts you for help, be helpful!
What is networking? It's easy to think of networking as simply contacting people for help of some kind. But that's just one side of the coin, because for someone to get help, someone has to give help.
Call warm, not cold.
The more you give to your communities, the easier it is to turn a cold call into a warm call.
We all know that feeling of fear when we pick up the phone to make a cold call. Asking a stranger for anything is harder, and, I believe, less likely to work than asking someone you know, or at least someone who can relate to you through some shared affiliation. A few examples of ways to make a cold call warmer: "I was talking with [mutual acquiaintance], and she suggested I contact you …" or "I heard you speak/I read your article about [topic] and I had a follow-up question …" or "we crossed paths through the United Way, serving on different campaign committees …"
Ask small, not big.
In any small networking question, the bigger question is implied. If you're an unemployed engineer and you ask someone if their company does a certain type of engineering work, they know you're fishing for job leads. If they have useful information they feel comfortable sharing with you, they will. Don't push.
And remember, the more you give to your communities, the easier it is to turn a cold call into a warm call, and the more likely your called party will feel comfortable volunteering information above your modest request.
In a phone or e-mail message to a networking contact, less is more. Don't ramble or feel that a complete explanation is needed. Try saying nothing more than "Hi, we share such-and-such affiliation, and I had a quick networking question. Could we chat for just a couple of minutes?"
Finally, don't forget to close your conversations with networking contacts by asking sincerely what you can do to be helpful to them. If they don't ask for anything, find something to offer them later.
As you sow, so shall you
reap.
Before you make a networking call, put yourself in the other person's shoes and come up with a question you'd be comfortable getting from a near-stranger. Come up with a question to ask that is relevant to the experience of the person you're asking and can be answered helpfully in under five minutes. If you are job-hunting, don't ask a wide range of people "can you help me find a job?" That is too much to ask. Find people in the industry and/or function you're targeting, or at a target company, and ask them for information. For example, if it's someone at a target company, ask them for help understanding their company: ask if their company's work falls in your area of specialty. Then see if they can steer you to other contacts.
