Mike Jones (neither the rapper, nor the gay prostitute) has been obsessed with movies for two decades. His first movie was "Platoon" when he was six, and even then, he knew Oliver Stone was full of himself.
Mike used to write for the Daily Cardinal and coreweekly in various capacities. He nows bums around the town, waiting for Sundance to open and in the meantime, watches a bootleg Indonesian version of "Little Miss Sunshine" for recreation. His favorite films include "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," "High Fidelity," and anything Wes Anderson has made or that stars Will Ferrell (with the exception of "Kicking and Screaming")
Four Environmental Films Which Makes One Hate the Environment
jonesy9872
| 4/22/2007 9:34 pm |
MadMovies
In honor of Earth Day, California Gov. Arnold Schwarznegger got his ride "pimped" on MTV with eco-friendly parts to reduce emissions. Which makes him the 521st movie star to take an active interest in the Earth's welfare on Earth Day. Although taking interest in the Earth is an admirable quality, it does create an unwelcome preachiness in unqualified spokespeople on its behalf. Worst yet, it can be parlayed into a Gawdawful plot devise to convey seriousness. And as a result it prompted some to remove their cars' catalytic converters and dump oil in the lakes in protest and disgust. Here a few films which whored out Mother Earth for their own profit-driven ends--and with disasterous results:
1. Bio-Dome - Although not meant to be taken that seriously, any time Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin team up should be a reason for the planet to weep. As two stoners to get locked into a self-sustaining bio-dome with hilarious results, it tried to show how even the mentally-impotent could respect the environment. Sadly, it merely highlighted the disturbing fact that Pauly Shore was considered a viable comedic talent at any period in America. Worst yet, Baldwin agreed to this film AFTER The Usual Suspects--meaning he made the conscious decision to parlay any clout from appearing in the best crime film of the 90's with a role where he short-dredlocked himself.
2. The Core - In order to prove his point about the effects of the Earth's core shutting down, professor Chin Dimple (Aaron Eckhart) stands in front of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and burns a peach using hairspray and a lighter. It only gets worse from there, as Hilary Swank shows up to pilot the snake-like, neo-metallic vessel to the Earth's core. I could have only imagined co-star Stanley Tucci's amazement that she had won an Oscar up to that point--which makes the fact that she's a two-time Oscar winner even more incredulous.
3. The Day After Tomorrow - Any movie from the same director (Roland Emmerich) of The Patriot - the film as historically accurate as a Jayson Blair interview with James Frey--is bound to make me roll my eyes even without mentioning the environment. But Emmerich does his best attempt at tsk-tsking the Bush administration with the idea that New York would be submerged within hours due to the hairspray craze of the 1980's. The only retort I've heard to how bad this movie was was the fact that Jake Gyllenhaal has a pretty face. Doesn't make sense? Don't worry, neither did the plot.
4. Waterworld - Kevin Costner drinks his own piss. Enough said.
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