The secret diary of 911-chief Joe Norwick

(I have repeatedly asked for this document. As it was kept on a county work computer, it is a public record. After a great deal of expense and negotiation, yesterday it was finally released to my attorneys, Hutz and Associates, through the Freedom of Information Act, Case #2008-20a;53703,I-8c. This excerpt begins the last day of March, 2008.)

* * *

Monday: Dry/overcast. Hungover @ work. Phone [rang] all day. Finally took off hook. Lasanga 2night -- yum! Could not find car keys.

Tues: Sunny & mild. Watched "Oprah" @ office re: man who is having baby.?? LMAO! Plus prank call "Something something kilning me"? WTF?

Wednesday: Light haze, warmer. Hear their was death on some "Doty" St.???? Sure glad don't live [in] Milwaukee!!! Here Imake $100,000!!! :) Pork chops, apple sauce 2nite. Lost wallet???

Thur: 10+ calls about fire 2day. Effing telemarketers!!!! Finally lost it. Fire! Yeah, I GET it! OMG [ . . . ] Bored, Went outside 2 find/but could not see 4 all the smokecross St. 2nd hnad SMOKE! brasatrds! Late Cheese Fondoo.

Fri: Humid/ overcast. All u can eat Fishfry @ Orpho 2night! Casual Friday so wore new Earmuffs all day. "�What? . . .' WHAT?"' Ha haaa! Tangled cord. Dam! Then Colud not find Car in ramp three hrs.

Sat.: Heavy rain. Did not know enough but still came In-side. Double 1/4er pounders at lunch. Mmmmmm! Oiled old gun from deputy days. Marshall the Marshall!Memories!!!!

Mond: Canceled heareing appt. Checked work [voice] mail but Jiffypop was burning & did'not get number. Almost 2 depressed 2 nite 2 put on Star Trek shirt and watch Dee VD of Shatner on "Rescue 911." Shat's the Man! Cheered right Up. Custard. LOL

Tuesd: Moment of panic when Could not find Car in ramp. That is, could not find ramp. all LOOK alike! Later Grittyburgers!

Wednseday: Remembered took Bus yesterday. Stlii no car! Dinner=shrimp + jello. My fave! Went [to the] arboretum. Could not See foreswt. 2 many trees!

Thusr: OMG! Moment panic last night! Could not find own House. 2day left trail Breadcrmbs. Also, trns outLast 2sday's murder call was Real :( ??? Spock would kno! G;lass Nickel save me!!

Frday: Clear & mild. Wore phaser to work. 2 cool! Talked w/ Madison Police Chief Ray Noble. Agreed 2 keep all Secret in the name of "investigationing." " Not even tape released -r- else murderer would hear Self murdering her & that would "risk" prosecutioning of alleged "person(s)" of interest(s) -- unless they are deaf(s). Fingers, alleged toes "crossed!"

Slat: Ray Noble called 2 set Lunch" appt. Turns out loves UHURA! Can star system get "smaller? Ray said still embarrassed over Audrey Seiller hoax Disappareance 2004 :( No mor Klingon jorunalisms!!!!!

Snu: Fnoud car in owngarage. Smokey;s Club, porterhuose rare. 8& Luve it red!!!

Money: OMG! Paisan's with Top Cop Ray Noble!! GARLIC BREAD!!! Handsomer ni preson. Agreed 2 sit on recrds all 4 @ least month -r- until press digs OUT. Secrecy pact, blood oath, Starfleet bros.! Secret decoder rings.HEART

2sday: Found post-it nder chair and as result had to tell Ray th@ we _did_ phone murdred girl back after all. Ha ha! When did got two evli men on the line. WHY they phoned 2 report their own act of murder is mystery! But LOL -- murderers! LMFAO .Cool and mild. KFC run late.

Wednednessayyyyy: Wore Vinyl spock Ears allday. Mumbbler a@ work. Rire? Fape? Why canot't young people speak UP? WTF! I blame the Hiphop. Chalupas [for] dinner.

Thrusbay: So much stressing!!!! What would James T. Kirk do? :( Decided 2 tour capitol 4 relax. Could not fnid. Asked at dome-topped building with gold statcheu [on] top. Sunny, wramer. Mickie's Draiy Bra.

* * *

(Two weeks later.)

Modnya: Nuts! alleged tow murderer men's allegd numbre was wrong. Confusd w/PizzaPit. Tow weeks waist. Persons(s) of dDISinterest. RAY HATES me!!!! Well, papers quote ME everyone makes mistake :) :) :) Even Vulcans!!!! (Rewatch Spock marriage "Amok Time" episde 2 nite). Lawsuit? Indemnified? "FOR GOOD OF MANY:" Low clouds, cool. > > > (Chicken marsala 4lunch. Four stras!

* * *

(One week later.)

Firday: WTF! Press findsout. Told A- holes had no reasno apolgz.

Tqwsday: Apologizd. FK! AtE whole t'rkey.

Wexdriay: lyed & sSAID disapcher stlii ion duty. Lyed & said she was no t tranfred.

HrusdyA: Screend work calls alla day. NEVER SURRENDORS! Meatlo5af/ day at Nick's on State!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Over c ast.

Firdyeah: WISC-TV proved- we "could' triangleate) celphone call and infacthad Zimmernam /yard onscreen. But! as MARC ;tWAIN said there -r- "lies, damned lies and 911", Hoep, yes! Shaving this a.m.. could not triangule8 om chin. Less lBurmashave 2morrow. +Depr'ssed :( Still love YOU Ch-3Katie Sai!!! 8>

SLatDay: Fog ea#lry. In bathrm had Number 2. Had/ pelnty Charmin)### squeeable softbut coudl NOT triangule8 wher^e put iti. Illogical! Ill-ogi-cal!!!! Prime directvie!!!!

S*umeDay: TRAGDEY!!!! lost Cue-Tip in%side head!!! eM=ty but HIrts! $& kalled 411!!! brain hirts hirts hirts. TIANGULE8s on)me BUT Nowill me help. 3WTF???? >:( SOMEONE SHOUDL7 BE FRIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday: Overcast; dark day in Madison. But same as before. I judge that all is well :)

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