University of Michigan tailback/psychic Mike Hart will not be going Miss Cleo or Dionne Warwick on the outcome of the Big Ten opener between the Wolverines and Penn State.

Who needs a Hot Line or a crystal ball when the series results will suffice: Michigan has won eight straight games over the Nittany Lions.

In fact, the Wolverines were only two years removed from tipsy Gary Moeller the last time JoePa scored a victory. That was during the 1996 season in Ann Arbor.

A year ago, Michigan won 17-10 in Not So Happy Valley.

At that, the last three meetings have been last-possession games, including Penn State's last two trips to Michigan Stadium. 

In 2002, the Wolverines won 27-24 in overtime.

In 2005, they won 27-25.

Even though the Nittany Lions have been listed as an early betting favorite (3 points), the Wolverines should more than make up for that with the home field advantage.

Seriously.

Granted, Michigan will only get half-credit for Saturday's shutout of Notre Dame High School (Charlie Weis is three stomach tucks and an extended losing streak away from looking like Gerry Faust).

But thanks to the inept Irish, the Wolverines may have regained some of their swagger. Check out the beleaguered Lloyd Carr, for example.

Instead of showing up for his postgame press conference eating crow (along with Hart, of course), Carr showed up with Crowe.

That would be Russell Crowe, not Sheryl Crow.

After losing to App State in the opener, many expected Carr to morph into Jack Crowe (who was fired at Arkansas one day after losing to a D-IAA foe, the Citadel).

Seems that Carr and Russell Crowe are buds.

Get this: Carr even had Crowe address the team prior to last Saturday's kickoff against the Bad News Domers.

It's not known if Crowe, who's known for his short temper, dressed up like a Gladiator for his speaking appearance. But he was allowed to speak his mind, beautiful or not.

While hardcore Michigan zealots continue to serenade Carr with the words to Sheryl Crow's 1997 single ("A Change Would Do You Good''), Russell Crowe is carving out his own niche with the Wolverines.

Cinderella Man.

Cinderella Team?

Don't laugh.

The Big Ten has more pumpkins than princes.