Dave Zweifel's Plain Talk: Gators go where cougars fear to tread
Norm Nelson, who a long time ago put lines of type together the old-fashioned way in the composing room when The Capital Times was downtown, dropped a note the other day from his retirement home in Florida that puts to shame our recent Midwestern "problem" with cougars.
As you've read, Chicago cops confronted and killed "our" cougar last month after he was spotted on the city's north side, not all that far from Wrigley Field -- maybe looking for some bear cubs.
As we now know, it was the same cougar that was spotted near Milton during the dead of winter. He apparently kept walking down the railroad tracks and happened into the big city.
But we shouldn't be fretting the small stuff if Nelson's note is any indication. Turns out that Florida folks have a lot more to worry about -- alligators.
As senior citizens flee the north for the low taxes of a state that can't count votes, housing developments are springing up along Florida's many swamplands, if not in the swamps themselves. The Floridians are discovering that when you go live where the wild animals do, you might just have to put up with them.
Norm's note contained a clipping from the Tampa Tribune about a woman who was minding her business in her living room about 10 p.m. when a huge crash emanated from the kitchen.
She went to look and discovered an 8-foot alligator crawling along her kitchen floor. When she called 911, the dispatcher was sure she was mistaken, but a sheriff's deputy quickly discovered she wasn't.
The beast had already knocked a few things askew in the kitchen and his claws made deep ruts in the linoleum floor. It took animal control people a while and they had to remove the patio doors to the house, but they eventually got the animal muzzled and carried him outside.
Turns out that alligators are becoming quite prevalent in many of Florida's new neighborhoods. Some crawl out of the marshes and walk across neighborhood streets at any hour of the day.
So think twice about retiring to Florida. It may snow a lot here, but we haven't had any cougars in our kitchens. Besides, the Chicago cops will protect us.
Dave Zweifel is editor emeritus of The Capital Times.
