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Semrau: Positives of being parents of a student-athlete hit home

Dennis Semrau  —  4/17/2008 8:59 am

Today is a big day in our household, and not just because our oldest child has a Big Eight Conference softball game this afternoon, weather permitting.

On a bright, sunny day at 8:01 a.m. 18 years ago today my daughter, Kelli Elizabeth, was born at Meriter Hospital in Madison. With a VHS tape of 'Hoosiers' playing in the background, she was delivered by Dr. Ken Byce, whose son, John, led the University of Wisconsin to an NCAA Division I hockey championship a few weeks earlier and would score his first professional goal later that evening.

Kelli was so active before she was born that that her nickname was 'Hoops' -- hence the selection of Hoosiers to be played on the hospital's VCR player -- although my wife, Karin, and I didn't settle on her given name until the drive to the hospital around 4 a.m.

So arriving under those circumstances and with a dad employed as a sports publicist before eventually becoming a sportswriter, it was only natural that Kelli would become involved in sports in some capacity. She was 2 years old the first time I took her with me to a game and often joined me on assignments when she had time after school.

Like most kids, Kelli dabbled in gymnastics in pre-school, began playing tee-ball in kindergarten and basketball in third grade and became involved in a host of other sports and activities while growing up.

It wasn't long ago that she ran the hill at Olbrich Park with the Madison East girls cross country team, just across the street from where she will be playing against the Purgolders in a varsity softball game today.

She even took after her dad, becoming a St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan, although it was difficult for her to understand how I could attend games and write about the Milwaukee Brewers, back when they were perennial losers.

As her parents, Karin and I encouraged her to try as many sports and activities as possible, although I remember having to convince her to give softball a try when she balked at signing up to play because she thought she would be missing out on spending time with her friends.

Ironically, when she reached high school, Kelli opted to concentrate on what had become her favorite sport, softball, although she turned to coaching youth basketball when she gave up playing the sport competitively.

While I am a strong advocate for multiple-sport athletes, I applauded her decision to focus on her schoolwork and her favorite sport in part because it was time for her to start making her own choices. Sometimes she asked for her parents' input and sometimes not. But that, too, was a sign of her growing maturity and willingness to make her own decisions as well as taking her first steps towards independence.

Blessed with her mom's intelligence and beauty and saddled with her dad's stubbornness gene, she has been the epitome of the student-athlete the past four years. An honor student in the classroom, she is a four-year softball player, including earning a varsity letter as a junior.

While she might not realize it, in her own way Kelli has been an inspiration to me in covering high school sports -- from watching her make friends with athletes from other communities to her supporting her high school classmates and teammates by attending a variety of their activities.

Many of the questions in my weekly "Prep Profile" feature as well as numerous preps columns were inspired by her inquisitiveness, spirit and her own youth sports experiences as well as those of her friends.

When she entered Middleton High School in the fall of 2004 and eventually earned a position on the Middleton freshman softball team the following spring, it added a different perspective for me as a sportswriter, youth coach and proud parent.

After having coached youth sports since high school, including serving as one of her youth coaches for 10 years, I had to step back and let her high school coaches take over.

That was something I was thinking about while watching her play softball on Wednesday afternoon. Although she had a career day with three hits, including a triple, and helped the Cardinals to an 11-2 victory over Madison West, I had as much if not more fun watching her simply enjoying the moment.

There is a line in the movie 'Mr. Holland's Opus' where the main character, played by actor Richard Dreyfuss, is chided about spending too much of his time teaching other people's children and not spending enough time on his own family.

That thought has often crossed my mind while covering high school sports as Kelli and her younger brother, Matthew, have grown up. Whether it was pounding out stories on my laptop or making countless phone calls after dinner to administrators, coaches, parents and student-athletes or doing late-night surfing on the Internet for some much-needed research, I was often reminded that the time I had to spend with my own children was flying by.

So as I look at the calendar and realize that her graduation day is in sight and college beckons, I rue the short season that parents of spring sports student-athletes experience. That becomes even more frustrating when the weather refuses to cooperate.

After all, there is nothing more satisfying than watching your children participate with friends and share with them a passion for a sport or activity.

Granted, while they are competing, winning and losing is important. Otherwise, why bother keeping score? But my experience as both a reporter and the parent of a high school student-athlete has taught me that no matter what the scoreboard reveals at the end of the game, it really isn't the wins and losses that are remembered.

It is about the relationships and bonds that are formed between the coaches, student-athletes, families and their communities. When it is over, you can never go back. So enjoy the moment.

Thank you, Kelli, for helping reinforce that lesson along the way.

And have a happy 18th birthday.

Dennis Semrau  —  4/17/2008 8:59 am