If Jeri Ryan doesn't make a man happy ...
3:55 PM 6/27/04
Bill Wineke Wisconsin State Journal

Jack Ryan, who quit his race for the U.S. Senate from Illinois, has learned the dangers of messing with Borg.<

Ryan's former wife, actress Jeri Lynn Ryan, says he took her to sex clubs in the late 1990s and asked her to engage in sexual activities in front of other patrons. <

Those aren't good allegations for any politician to face and they're certainly not good for a "family-friendly" Republican. <

But that's between Ryan, his former wife and the voters of Illinois. If Bill Clinton's escapades didn't bother me, I'm not going to lose sleep over those of some obscure politician from south of the border. <

What does bother me is that he treated Jeri Lynn Ryan this way. <

I've been in love with, smitten by, and generally google-eyed over Jeri Lynn Ryan since 1997, when she first appeared on "Star Trek-Voyager" as the character Seven of Nine. <

If you're a "Star Trek" addict, you know exactly what I mean. If not, let me put it this way: Seven of Nine is breath-taking. She wears a blue-gray jumper suit that is, ahem, form-fitting. She has icy blonde hair. She is imperious. She reduces men to drool. <

Even my wife is understanding of the way I sit in front of the television set and pant when Seven of Nine appears. She knows that, in real life, Seven of Nine would swat me like a mosquito if I approached. <

Now, here's the point: It seems to me that if Seven of Nine isn't sufficient for Jack Ryan, chances are good that the poor guy is never going to be satisfied. <

Ryan, after all, is already a multi-millionaire. He did manage to marry a beautiful actress. He is a very successful man - but, somehow, that wasn't enough. <

It never is. If, in order to be happy, I have to have "more" of anything, then I'm never going to be happy. <

Unfortunately, we all live in a culture where enough is never enough. Our national economy is based on the principle that new ought to be replaced by newer, that big ought to be replaced by bigger and that achieving a goal is sufficient only to qualify you to begin your quest for the next goal. <

It starts at an early age and ends at senility. <

Look around your neighborhood. Aren't the children more heavily scheduled this summer than are their parents? Visit a nursing home and read the schedule of activities. It's exhausting to be old. <

We run horrendous credit card bills that may keep us working well into old age to pay for things long discarded. We buy homes we can't afford and then complain that we can't find low-wage help to clean them. We buy $50,000 Hummers and then whine because they get poor gas mileage. <

Well, I know all that and I'm as guilty as the next guy when it comes to wanting the next hot possession, be it an electronic gadget or a new lawn mower. <

But somehow, I always dreamed that if only I could have Seven of Nine, my life would be complete. <

Now I know that's only a dream. I don't condemn Jack Ryan for his morals. But I do curse him for taking away my fantasy. <

Reach Bill Wineke at bwineke@madison.com or at 252-6146.