CHICAGO -- It's April 3rd but in these parts it's always July.

After two straight losses, the Chicago Cubs are already throwing Cubbieville into a tizzy. Let's count the ways:

* After two anemic offensive days, manager Lou Piniella is already taking back his promise to stick with a regular lineup by moving Alfonso Soriano up a spot to leadoff and dropping Ryan Theriot to the two spot. Maybe it's never too early to panic.

* Monday's starter, Carlos Zambrano, has a potassium deficiency that causes cramps that knocked him out of the opener in the seventh inning. Apparently, Zambrano prefers Red Bull and coffee to water and other hydrating sports drinks. Hard to believe, considering his mild and mellow demeanor on the mound. Piniella suggests he start eating more bananas. This is not the first time Zambrano has had cramping problems. A few years ago it was blamed on his four-hour forays on the Internet. Last year it was his failure to drink water in between innings. Maybe someone in the Cubs' front office can buy him a water bottle and hire someone to make sure he drinks it.

All the handwringing is typical of fans early in the season. The Brewers aren't even exempt after two straight victories.

I rode the elevator with two such fans last night at my hotel. After some small talk about the two wins, I mentioned they had to be pleased with the way Jeff Suppan pitched in Wednesday's victory.

"It's about time,'' the male member of the couple answered emphatically.

Taken aback, I said, "It's the first game he's pitched this year.''

The response came back swiftly. "I don't care.''