According to Wednesday 's New York Times, Paris has discovered hamburgers, except that -- Paris being Paris -- the city 's chefs are trying to "improve " them.

"As French chefs have embraced the quintessentially American food, " the Times noted, "they have also made it their own, incorporating Gallic flourishes like cornichons, fleur de sel and fresh thyme. "

I immediately recognized the "GQ syndrome. "

The syndrome first reared its ugly head -- and acquired its name -- a few years ago when GQ magazine, the alleged arbiter of sophisticated taste, published an article titled, "The 20 Hamburgers You Must Eat Before You Die. "

A writer named Alan Richman traveled 23,750 miles and ate 162 burgers in 93 restaurants to research the story. The only problem was he had no idea of what really makes a great burger.

For instance, one of Richman 's immortal 20 was something called the "California Burger " at a place called Houston 's in Santa Monica.

Richman wrote: "This burger has no flaws. Zero. The roll: soft and sweet, almost like brioche.... The condiment: a touch of honey-mustard dressing. Avocado and arugula are another great touch. Houston 's California burger is a rainbow of colors. "

Arugula, which sounds like an island in the Caribbean, is in fact a salad green. It has no more business on a burger than an avocado or honey-mustard salad dressing.

But it wasn 't just that GQ misfired on good burgers. Worse, in a sidebar to the main article, they proclaimed a "Worst Burger, " and in doing so trashed the state of Wisconsin and a venerable Milwaukee burger joint.

The sidebar stated: "Solly, may he rest in grease, is credited with inventing the butter burger, a much loved, much praised regional specialty. I walked into Solly 's Grille near Milwaukee and asked for my burger with sauteed onion. I 'm guessing, but I 'd say it came with close to a half stick of butter soaked into the bun and burger and finally pooled on the plate. It was like slurping dairy drainage. Wisconsin, the Dairy State, should be renamed the Death-by-Dairy State. "

The article, and particularly the sidebar, enraged George Motz, who included Solly 's as one of eight outstanding burger joints in his excellent documentary, "Hamburger America. "

Motz fired off a letter to Richman: "I wanted to thank you for writing the piece on hamburgers in the July '05 issue of GQ. It has given me reason never to read anything you write ever again. Your smug assessment of the American hamburger was an embarrassment to people who actually care about how hamburgers are made. Further, your assessment of Solly 's Grille as having the worst burger ' was downright obnoxious and rude, and an unnecessary slap in the face for a 70-year-old institution. Solly 's burgers are made with the purest ingredients by hard-working people. "

As far as I can tell, Paris ' embrace of hamburgers has not included any shots at Wisconsin or our dairy heritage.

Yet Wednesday 's New York Times piece makes it pretty clear that the city 's chefs, like GQ magazine, don 't really get what makes a great burger.

According to the Times, one Paris restaurant makes its burger "with pine nuts and thyme mixed into the meat, " then places it "on a toasted whole-wheat English muffin. "

Another tops its burgers with "slabs of foie gras, " fattened livers of a duck or goose.

Yet another includes both mayonnaise and mustard on the same burger -- and charges $56.

The problem is summed up in this quote from one Paris chef: "The burger has become gastronomic. "

The next thing you know, they 'll use a knife and fork, and in fact many Parisians do when confronted with a burger.

I 'd like to take this opportunity to encourage any Paris chefs considering putting burgers on their menus to visit Madison and see what really makes a great burger.

A few years ago, when Motz was spinning his acclaimed documentary off into a book, he got in touch with me and asked a very tough question: "If you had to choose one place in Madison to be in our upcoming book about real ' hamburger places, which would it be? "

Readers who remember my first State Journal column, back in March, may recall that Motz ended up including the Plaza Tavern and Dotty 's, along with Wedl 's in Jefferson, in his book that came out this spring.

Back when I answered his question, I had nominated those three but also many others -- the Village Bar, the Nitty Gritty, the Oakcrest, the Main Depot, the Stadium Bar, Babe 's, the Blue Moon, the Harmony and more.

Some might say I took the coward 's way out. I would argue Madison is blessed with a great many great burgers. In fact, I invite any Parisians, not just chefs, to come give us a try. I guarantee they will all be less than $56.

Contact Doug Moe at 608-252-6446 or dmoe@madison.com.