Another is an open call for the next artist at the top of the Billboard charts.

Still more are showcases for dance talents, model hopefuls, and dating pools for various bachelors and bachelorettes, including rocker Bret Michaels, hip-hopper Flavor Flav and a woman named New York.

And, of course, there 's "Survivor."

Thanks to the unexpected break the television writers took over the winter, reality shows are all over the airwaves. Other than saying that there 's nothing particularly real about any of these shows, most reality shows follow certain guidelines:

A "cast " of regular people. Whether contestants, castaways or housemates, what separates them from us is a few hours of entry forms, interviews and more interviews. And talent, in certain cases. Looking beyond the "regularness, " you 'll notice that each cast will have a "crazy " one, a "mean " one, a "flirty " one, an "annoying " one ... the types are repeated from show to show to show. It 's the way reality shows try to be like the rest of television.

An artificial setting. These include an island nowhere near paradise, any number of mansions, apartments in the sky and a cramped house with no access to the outside world.

A language all its own. Listen closely: Just about everything is "amazing " or "unbelievable, " or the latest obsessions, "fierce " and "spot on. " In the confessional -- there 's another commonality -- reality show "stars " talk on and on about what "strong competitors " they are, how they 're "making connections " with people, how they "really want this, " and how they "have to be true " to themselves. At least one sentiment each show begins with is "For me, personally ... " or it risks being disqualified from the reality world. And they 're always, always grateful for the experience.

Easy, then, to tell a reality show from, say, a show in which actors are told what to say and where to move. Where 's the fun in that? Where 's the spontaneity, the real human drama, the awkward crying scenes that are (almost) too painful to watch?

Right. That 's why I watch reality shows, too. I 'm not ashamed to admit it. Though I do have my standards: I don 't watch the shows in which the winners are chosen via public vote. That rules out "American Idol, " "Dancing with the Stars " and other similar talent-type shows. (Though in the interest of full disclosure, I did watch Bravo 's "Make Me a Supermodel "; my obsession with would-be models overrode my distrust in America 's voting record. In retrospect, I should have stuck to my rule.)

The way I see it, reality shows fall into two basic categories: competitions and conversations. The competition shows are obvious: People are competing for a prize. The conversation shows don 't have a prize; rather, the point is to see how other people -- often celebrities, as dubious as that term can be -- live and work. But within each of those two groups are subgroups that refine the distinctions even more.

The competition show follows certain guidelines: Cast members are eliminated, often in a formal ceremony after which they are bid goodbye with a signature phrase (see quizzes). But all competition shows are not the same. To wit:

Mind games: Here you 'll have your "Survivor, " your "Amazing Race, " your "Big Brother. " The prizes are often lucrative -- $1 million, with trips or cars along the way -- and difficult to attain. Contestants have to endure physical challenges, strenuous activities, less-than-ideal living conditions and duplicitous competitors. You 'll also find the mainstay of reality competitions, the alliance. Formed early and often, this pact ensures a contestant need only keep his word to those in his alliance, or risk being branded "untrustworthy " -- a trait most reviled. The mind games are fun to watch, but can easily fall into a predictable rut.

Talent shows: "American Idol, " "Step It Up & Dance, " "Project Runway " ... these are the shows for people who can do, and the rest of us can enjoy watching. Prizes here can be astronomical -- "America 's Got Talent " winners walk away with a cool mil; "American Idol " winners get a $1 million recording contract -- or they can be relatively small -- $100,000 for the winners of "Step It Up, " "Project Runway " and "Top Chef. " But more than the cash prize, these talents are getting exposure, and even if they don 't finish on top, they still get the eye of professionals in their field, and often get to work with bigwigs that the other aspiring singer or dancer, the one who didn 't make it to a television show, didn 't get.

Job interviews: Similar to the talent shows, these contestants have special skills. In these shows, though, the prize is an actual job. "The Apprentice, " "The Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, " "America 's Next Top Model " and "Hell 's Kitchen " dole out a dream job for the last contestant standing after a multi-week, oft-grueling interview. Here again, though, exposure and experience are prizes for the nonwinners.

Dating games: Make room for "The Bachelor, " "The Bachelorette, " the upcoming "Farmer Takes a Wife, " and any other show where the goal is to find a mate among a group of strangers, with the help of a hot tub and lots of alcohol ... in just eight weeks! The success of this subcategory is questionable; to date, no Bachelor has stuck with his chosen lady. But is anyone surprised? The fun in these shows comes from watching the women cat it out with each other for the guy cute enough to get his own TV show. Unless you believe in love at first televised sight.

The conversation shows can also be subdivided:

Lesson plans: Family has a problem, family calls for help. "Supernanny, " "Trading Spaces, " even "Wife Swap " fit into this group. These shows usually imply a lesson -- accept people as they are; yelling at your kids isn 't the answer; if you neighbor doesn 't like fish decor, by gum, don 't paint an undersea mural in his living room -- and follow a time schedule to accomplish the task at hand.

Soap operas: It 's real life, made to look like a TV show.

Focused on an unusual character -- "Dog the Bounty Hunter " -- or occupation -- tattoo artists, undertakers -- these shows are a window into another world. Networks just hope it 's a world interesting enough to visit each week.

Celebreality: VH1 has the market cornered on this one, but MTV and other cable networks share the wealth. "My Fair Brady, " "So NoTorious, " and "The Surreal Life " all fit in this group. But some celebreality shows keep one foot in the competition realm: "Rock of Love, " with Poison 's Bret Michaels, and "Flavor of Love " with Flavor Flav are dating games that trade on celeb cred.

The real world: In this category, there is but one show: "The Real World. " The granddad of unscripted shows just turned out its 20th installment last Wednesday. This show is the originator of putting types of people together and turning on the camera. The formula may have changed little, but -- as with most reality shows -- the players know what they 're getting into. So instead of raw emotions and unpolished camera novices, we have media-savvy players in an unreal world.

Now, add a celebrity host, a million-dollar prize and an immunity challenge, and we might have something.