The way this story was supposed to end was for the aging newspaper columnist to suddenly find his long-misplaced golf game and beat the young pro star in a Memorial Day match at Yahara Hills.

He would then quit the newspaper business, join the Champions Golf Tour, win the U.S. Senior Open and announce he wasn't talking to the media.

That's what was supposed to happen, but, alas, we will have to make do with what really occurred, right down to that terrible episode on the 11th green.

The aging columnist might not have been at Yahara on Monday in the first place if he had never read George Plimpton, the late writer, editor and bon vivant.

But the doddering columnist, who I will now introduce as myself, had read pretty much every word Plimpton ever wrote. I share his affection for oddballs and free spirits, and think maybe the best thing Plimpton did was a New Yorker piece about a California man who tied 42 helium-filled balloons to a lawn chair and launched himself into the skies over Southern California.

The man went much higher than he intended and a TWA pilot radioed the Los Angeles airport after spotting the lawn chair at 16,000 feet. Man and chair made it down safely and the only injury was a fine from the FAA.

But Plimpton's true specialty was participatory journalism, especially in sports. He quarterbacked the Detroit Lions, played goalie for the Boston Bruins, and, one winter in the 1960s, played in three tournaments on the PGA Tour.

Plimpton didn't play well -- his account of his golf adventure began, "My woes in golf, I have felt, have been largely psychological."

But when my chance at greatness presented itself recently, I thought I might fare better. Unlike Plimpton, I had once been a pretty decent player.

Besides, I wasn't about to turn down a chance to play with Kim Welch, currently starring on the Golf Channel's popular reality show, "The Big Break Ka'anapali." Welch, 25, was a college golf star at Washington State and is now one of the best players on the Duramed FUTURES Tour. Each year the top five money winners on the FUTURES Tour graduate to the LPGA Tour, where Madison 's Sherri Steinhauer has been a standout for many years. Welch is currently sixth on the money list.

It turns out Welch, who is in the area for the Aurora Health Care Championship this Friday through Monday at the Geneva National Golf Club in Lake Geneva, has family in the Appleton area. She drove from her home in Sacramento, Calif., visited with them for a few days, and then arrived at Yahara Monday afternoon for our match.

At least, I thought of it as a match. I'm not sure what Welch thought of it, though she couldn't have been friendlier. When I mentioned Dick Bennett, the former UW basketball coach who was at Washington State when Welch was on campus, she confirmed Bennett 's reputation as a golf nut.

"He was always in the golf office," she said. "We wanted to hear about the basketball team and he wanted to talk about some new club he was trying."

She talked about the "insane" pressure of playing on "The Big Break," which has made Welch a bit of a celebrity in the golf world. At the airport in Kansas City recently, a flight attendant said, "Love you on the show!"

We started on the 10th tee of Yahara's East Course, which is in nice shape after some early season problems from rain and melting snow. I hit a decent drive, maybe 220 yards down the middle, and then Welch addressed her drive.

Whack!!!

She nailed it 275 or 280 down the left side of the fairway. I think it was still going up when it passed my ball.

"She killed it," said Mark Rechlicz, the Yahara pro who was standing nearby.

Welch then proceeded to hit a nine-iron to within 6 feet of the hole and drop the putt for an opening birdie. I made a forgettable bogey and slumped into the cart, where Welch was saying the Geneva National course is one of the nicest they play all year on the FUTURES Tour.

She hopes people will come out to see the tournament. As for her chances, she said, "I'm feeling more confident every week."

On the par 3 11th, I had my one chance to win a hole. Welch had pushed her iron a bit and had a 50-foot birdie putt. I had missed the green but pitched to 18 inches. When she uncharacteristically three-putted, I had my short putt for the win. I lined it up -- and missed! The ball didn 't even touch the cup. On the next hole Welch blasted a drive across the corner of the dogleg and I, well, I was still thinking about that little putt. My chance was gone.

I thought of my hero, Plimpton, and for some reason of the man in the flying lawn chair. From 16,000 feet, that putt would have really looked tiny.