After dropping a 9-0 decision the night before at Eau Claire, the Madison Mallards needed a little levity Friday evening as they returned to Warner Park to play the Express.

Actor Gary Coleman delivered it, even if the former Diff'rent Strokes star didn't have a chance to deliver at the plate.

The 4-foot-8 Coleman, announced as a pinch-hitter for second baseman Joe Bonadonna leading off the bottom of the first, took his place in the batter's box and pointed his bat toward center field a la Babe Ruth.

That's when Eau Claire manager Dale Varsho came out of the visitor's dugout and told home plate umpire Jack Herbert to check the amount of pine tar on Coleman's bat.

 Herbert determined the amount was illegal and -- after Coleman offered to ``wipe it off'' -- also found the bat to be corked. The umpire pulled out a piece of black rubber on the end of the bat and watched several "super balls'' spill out of the bat.

 ``Looks like you're going to have a short night,'' Herbert joked as he threw Coleman out of the game.

 Coleman took more offense with the short joke than he did his ejection, bumping the umpire to the delight of the 5,000-plus in attendance. Eventually, Coleman set up shop behind the third-base bleachers, signing autographs (at $20 a pop) and posing for photos (those were free).

The Mallards picked up the slack in Coleman's absence, sending nine batters to the plate in the first inning and scoring five times, as they jumped out to a 9-0 lead and held on for an 11-7 Northwoods League victory over the Express.