Would you rather have an itch you can't scratch, or mosquito bites from head to toe?
Those two uncomfortable realities are playing out right here in our backyard.
Those manning the front lines of the Big Ten Conference -- from commissioner Jim Delany to school presidents, chancellors, athletic directors, coaches, administrators and support staffers -- have been dealing with the fallout from the Big Ten Network since last fall.
Disgruntled fans throughout the Big Ten continue to vent about the fact BTN is not available on the three biggest cable providers in the territory. If University of Wisconsin followers aren 't the most outspoken critics, they're definitely in the top two.
Delany and his posse are raking in millions, but to date they've been unable to assuage the Big Ten masses because Comcast, Charter and Time-Warner have balked at attempts to put BTN on the basic cable tier.
In other words, Big Ten people know exactly where it itches, but can't get to the spot.
Meanwhile, those in the front office of the Western Collegiate Hockey Association are scratching like crazy, but just when one bite simmers down, another is inflicted.
The frenzy for WCHA commissioner Bruce McLeod began in late December when, in an unusual move, Kyle Okposo left Minnesota midway through his sophomore season to sign a NHL contract with the New York Islanders.
Even though Islanders general manager Garth Snow said some ridiculous things about Gophers coach Don Lucia, the fact remains one of the most decorated programs in the WCHA was made to look bad on a national scale.
It's been one thing after another ever since.
You had a referee, Randy Schmidt, perform with such incompetence he was suspended by McLeod, presumably for the season.
You had a school, UW, so victimized by Schmidt's inability to use a simple TV remote that it filed an unprecedented protest.
You had another referee, Todd Anderson, get inappropriately physical with a player during a game that the official was publicly criticized by McLeod.
You had a coach, Dave Hakstol of North Dakota, suspended for two games for giving referee Don Adam the middle-finger salute.
You had another sophomore, Denver winger Brock Trotter, leave school to turn pro, in part because he was being punished by Pioneers coach George Gwozdecky for an undisclosed off-ice incident.
The latest bite comes from the women's side of the WCHA.
An investigation is under way to determine if first-place Minnesota-Duluth used an ineligible player for most of the regular season.
It doesn't look good that Iya Gavrilova, who leads the Bulldogs in scoring, was outed by a sports club official in Russia for receiving a salary and stipend when Gavrilova played there. The NCAA has rules against that kind of stuff.
Duluth, which hosts the WCHA championship game as well as the NCAA Frozen Four, could drop into the second division with all those forfeits and open the league playoffs on the road.
In turn, that raises questions about the fairness of second-place Minnesota or third-place UW having to open against Duluth.
Stay tuned and pass the calamine lotion.